I'm cross posting this from my other blog, Life Therapy with Mark:
Your spirit: the Heart of Life Therapy
Monday, July 9, 2018
Saturday, November 25, 2017
A Thumotic Perspective on Delayed Development to Adulthood, Part 5
The Most Common Challenge
The most common challenge to developing mature, assertive
ways of getting what you need is fear; fear of-
- Leaving your comfort zone of familiar, immature ways
- Unfamiliar, new, different mature ways of getting what you need
- Being responsible for your life
- Being responsible to others for what you say and do
- Failing to succeed at being an adult, taking care of yourself, and living your life
Your fear fades as you become more mature by-
- Choosing to believe in yourself and the value of your life
- Taking small steps in learning assertive, mature ways of getting what you need
- Succeeding in fulfilling the life-affirming desires of your heart
- Learning from your mistakes as you go
- Acknowledging and celebrating your progress
Conclusion
It’s not your fault that your development to mature
adulthood is delayed. The things that delayed your development were beyond your
control. They were beyond your ability to overcome.
However, now you can do something about your delayed
maturity. You can do for yourself the things that weren’t done for you when you
were a child, teen, and young adult. You can do the work it takes to be a mature
adult and sustain your own life. More than that, you can fulfill the
life-affirming desires of your heart. You are alive to fulfill them. We all
need you to do what no one else can do but you.
Friday, November 24, 2017
A Thumotic Perspective on Delayed Development to Adulthood, Part 4
Mature Ways
Mature ways of getting what you need when you’re unable to sustain
your life are assertive. Developing
your mature, assertive ways of getting what you need include but aren’t limited
to-
·
Taking good care of your spirit
o
Practice the basic spirit-mindfulness exercises
o
Practice accepting fully your spirit’s emotional
responses
o
Grieve what delayed your development
o
Let your life-affirming emotions drive you
toward maturity
·
Taking good care of your body
o
Consume healthy food and drink
§
Learn to grocery shop
§
Learn how to prepare healthy meals
o
Breathe fresh air
o
Exercise
o
Rest
o
Get sound sleep
·
Engaging your mind to-
o
Understand what delayed your development
o
Understand the difference between “I can’t” and “I
won’t”
o
Accepting yourself and your life as they are
right now
o
Positive self-talk
o
Understand the difference between mind-based and
reality-based emotional responses
o
Be aware of the life-affirming desires of your
heart
o
Set goals and making a plan to attain them
·
Developing your social skills
o
Let go of blaming others
o
Become responsible for your life
§
HOW=Honest, Open, Willing
§
Use “I” statements, assertive speech
§
Increase what you do for yourself, within your
abilities
§
Access community agencies for assistance with-
·
Finances
·
Food
·
Housing
·
Healthcare
·
Childcare
·
Employment
o
Job training
o
Job application, resume
o
Job interview skills
·
Transportation
o
Become responsible to others
§
Identify the people in your circle of support
§
Ask for help from others for you cannot do for
yourself
§
Express sincere gratitude for help received
o
Develop your verbal communication skills
o
Develop your written communication skills
o
Get additional training/education/certification
to increase pay
o
Pay it forward, give others a hand up when
you’re able to do so
Developing mature, assertive ways of getting what you need
are constructive. They help you
mature, become an adult, and sustain your own life. They calm the emotional
responses of your spirit. They also strengthen your relationships with others.
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