Disappointment of Spirit, Part 1

Disappointment Defined

Disappointment is our spirit's response to being deprived of that which it desires. It is desire denied.

It presupposes desire. No desire, no disappointment.

How Disappointment Feels

We can feel disappointment in the center of our chest, our heart. It can feel like a dull ache or heaviness of heart. If desire lifts our spirit, disappointment brings it down. It sinks downward into our stomach and pulls our facial affect with it. It can cause us to cave inward and lean forward with drooping shoulders.

Disappointment of spirit can lead to sadness or anger of spirit.

Disappointment from Mild to Intense

Disappointment can range from very mild to very intense. It seems that the degree of our disappointment depends on the degree of our desire and the manner of its denial. However, it would be helpful to have some research to confirm this hunch.

Acute and Chronic Disappointment

My observations lead me to conclude that most disappointments are acute. Feelings of disappointment arise the instant we know our desire has been denied.

However, when our desire is for a basic life-affirming need and it is chronically denied, our disappointment of spirit can also be chronic.

Mind-based and Experience-based Disappointment

When our disappointment  is our response to our own self-talk and mental images it is mind-based. As is often the case with mind-based emotions, we conjure up disappointment for ourselves apart from our actual in-the-world experiences. When our in-the-world experience contradicts our self-talk and mental images, we do well to let our disappointment go.

When our disappointment is a response to our in-the-world experiences, it is experience-based. Our desire has been denied. We then do well to examine what happened. How was our desire denied? Was it because of our own inaction or ineffective action or someone else's? Is there something we can do differently that would help us fulfill our desire or not? If our desire cannot be fulfilled, how can we best care for our disappointed spirit?

Part 2 will discuss life-denying and life-affirming as well as suppressed, addressed, and expressed disappointment.