Jealousy of Spirit, Part 2

Mind-based and Experience-based Jealousy

Jealousy that is a response to our own self-talk and mental images is mind-based. For example, when we see from a distance or hear about some one interacting with someone we believe we own and have a special status with, and we form the opinion that our relationship is therefore threatened, then on the basis of our own self-talk our spirit rises up with jealousy. 

Jealousy that is a response to our in-the-world interactions with others is experience-based. For example, when we are present and see and hear for ourselves someone threatening our relationship with someone we believe is "ours", then the jealousy that rises within us is experience-based.

 

Life-denying and Life-Affirming Jealousy

At this time, on the basis of my own experience and observations, I believe that most, if not all, jealousy is life-denying. It's life-denying because it is based on a sense of ownership. The threatened relationship is with one we believe is "ours." The sense of ownership of another devalues and limits the life and spirit of the one we believe is "ours." Such ownership is life-denying.

However, I believe this matter needs more observation and study. I do not consider the mattered settled.

Jealousy Suppressed, Addressed, Expressed (Directly and Indirectly)

Like other emotions, jealousy suppressed tends to be life-denying. It harms the one who feels and suppresses it.

Mind-based jealousy is best addressed by recognizing, owning it as our own, and changing our own self-talk and mental images by attending to our in-the-world interactions.

Experience-based jealousy is best recognized, owned, and first expressed indirectly, to ourselves rather than directly to the others involved. We do well to examine our sense of ownership, privilege, and exclusivity.

Here is a question to ponder: Do we rightly own other humans, animals, plants, the earth, water, ideas, or anything else? Does our sense of ownership affirm or deny the other?

Depending on the relationship and circumstances, we might also do well to express our jealousy  directly with the others involved. However, I believe that such expression requires a high level of trust in the relationships and safety in the circumstances.